if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
