Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
