Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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