I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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