Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
