apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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