Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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