Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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