The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
