The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
