well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
