I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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