he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
