Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
