Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
