Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
