biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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