Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
