i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
