thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
