I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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