I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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