Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i think i have two assholes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
