you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I will pee on everything he values.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
