found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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