he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
