Small penises have feelings too.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize