brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
