He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
