I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
