Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
