Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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