you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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