I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
