Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize