you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
