I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
