He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
