If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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