I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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