I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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