Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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