im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize