I'm going to jail i love you
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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