There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
