He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
