He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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