But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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