dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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