sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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