he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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