Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
