he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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