I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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