Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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