there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
