there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
