Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
