no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
