Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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