Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
