omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
