i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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