Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
