I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize