i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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