hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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