You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
