Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
