Someone shit on the floor
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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