It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
