As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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