Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
