you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
