But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
