After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
