I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
